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Blogs > Red_Elf > Rewriting My Life

Salacious Value vs. Intrinsic Worth  

Red_Elf 50F
578 posts
6/27/2017 1:15 pm
Salacious Value vs. Intrinsic Worth

So, I was having this "discussion" with a male on another site who is "writing a book." But it's about women. I take issue with this, because it's just more fucking mansplaining.

But...when I looked at the work, it was even worse than I'd imagined. He's basically writing about getting women and it's all based on salacious values.

It got me thinking...how you operate and how I operate aren't necessarily the same when it comes to sex and relationships. People differ. Some are far more romantically inclined, men and women, and some are more into the physical.

Women are, time and again, rated society wide based on their sexual capital in most circumstances, rather than their worth to a company, their worth as a colleague, or their worth as a partner. The comments about being "too fat," "too thin," telling them to smile, whether or not to cut their hair, how to dress, how not to dress--it's all based on one thing, their sexual capital.

Are men constantly rated on their sexual capital? Do you comment on a weatherman's sexual capital? HELL NO! If he's hot, sure, but otherwise, meh. Most women wouldn't say a thing, because his JOB is to tell us the weather. A woman in the same position, however...not her experience, at all.

And I realized something, while physical matters to some extent...men have to hit a bar for me possibly being attracted to them...there is something else that plays a much larger role, and that's how much intrinsic value they bring to the table. I don't want to have sex with you if I don't think that you being yourself could add value to my life.

So, if you are pushy, if you are incapable of appreciating my own brand of awesome, if you think you get to tell me how to live my life...YOU ARE OUT! You cannot add value to my life, and I don't need you in my life.

What about you? Are you more about the physical? Or is the intrinsic worth of a person your primary focus in interpersonal relationships? Are you valuing the sex you are attracted to based on sexual capital or something else?
MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .

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TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
6/27/2017 4:35 pm

 "I don't want to have sex with you if I don't think that you being yourself could add value to my life."

YES! FUCKING A! This is why I've practically given up sex. There's just no one I find enriching enough to have sex with locally.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
6/27/2017 5:32 pm

 Are men constantly rated on their sexual capital? There are many woman's profiles here that want BBC, or well hung, or young guys, etc. Kinda seems like that is about their sexual capital.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Red_Elf replies on 6/27/2017 7:13 pm:
But...constantly? Think about the frequency you hear about men and how they look...compare it to how often you hear women are talking about matters of sexual capital.

ProfPlayful 53M
3861 posts
6/28/2017 2:36 pm

 On this subject I confess that I have degenerated somewhat in recent years. I always wanted to believe that everything that made a relationship special was on the intellectual side. I believed that anyone is capable of a physical relationship and there wasn't much difference between them.

Now I am in a relationship that is 100% intellectual. My wife can think and speak, but her body is a paralyzed lump that exists to be cleaned regularly and occasionally moved from place to place. She will never again be capable of giving the slightest physical affection.

I've got to admit, the physical has become pretty damned important to me.

Still, I can never let go of the intellectual side. Only a moron sees women as sex objects.
My featured post this week: Pulling Fantasy Sex Out of My Ass.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
6/28/2017 5:41 pm

 Red_Elf replies on 6/27/2017 8:13 pm:
But...constantly? Think about the frequency you hear about men and how they look...compare it to how often you hear women are talking about matters of sexual capital.

Seeing women as mostly sexual capital happens much more and constantly to women. My example of what I see on profiles is possibly half of the women in my default search area (Phoenix). Not a large sampling but I imagine it could be representative of many women here.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Red_Elf replies on 6/28/2017 7:52 pm:
You're stuck on the ideas of profiles. I'm talking about as a societal trend. Those trends impact people's behaviors here, but not in a mirror image. Try thinking about it like that.

KItkat1415 61F  
20051 posts
6/29/2017 2:39 pm

 Well I came late to this ball game.
I think that stuff is slowly changing or I am very uniquely treated...
Many of my friends who hit 50 over a decade ago, were dismissed and felt marginalized all while still trying to catch a man's eye. When I hit 50, I didn't find that to be the case at all. I still have plenty of men who want my (naked) company but like you, if this possessor of the penis doesn't add value (in friendship) to my life, then I kind of don't feel like making an effort. This has nothing to do with money. I have great male friends that are poor as church mice, and one or two that are upper middle-class and can afford to treat me once-in-a-while.

In conclusion, no one, not male or female is included in my life and takes my time if they don't add value to my life. Period. Full stop.
kk
The observant make the best lovers,
I may not do right, but I do write,
I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life,
Kitkat
Come check out my blog
KItkat1415
check out this post by me
Adventures In Body Grooming
#39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath
If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40


Red_Elf replies on 6/30/2017 3:50 pm:
I'm glad you like the changes you see. I max out at 50, because every time I attempt to step over that line, there is a less than subtle shift in the way men relate to women that I won't tolerate. While this still settles into younger men, there is less of it to the point hat dating for me is less of a crapshoot.

Lately, mid-30s men seem to be my sweet spot. They are old enough to have some maturity, not dumb enough to think they should control me, and I find far more of them still attractive enough to get my attention.

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