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gardenboy321 60M  
41936 posts
9/27/2017 4:33 pm

In my experience, the truly, sincerely nice guy does not get the woman like in those Hollywood movies, but is regulated to the friend zone.

I do understand that you are talking about the "self-proclaimed nice gu"y who is not a truly, sincerely, nice guy at all.

Thoughts from the Garden...


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
9/27/2017 4:33 pm

You need to date some women.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


clittywhisperer1 59M
1415 posts
9/27/2017 4:40 pm

la donna mobile tu la so vento'


notsure1949 74M
10657 posts
9/27/2017 4:58 pm

just do unto others as you would have them do unto you


Woodyeverready 65M
1187 posts
9/27/2017 5:24 pm

The only claim I can make on this subject is that I'm a guy who does nice things sometimes. My worst transgression is indifference. I can't seem to get worked up enough to be mean or abuse people.

Woodrow J. Evers


qreset 56M
84 posts
9/27/2017 6:26 pm

Very nice, Lala, very nice...see what I did there?

Seriously, I keep seeing these same themes over and over, but it seems like "Nice Guys (trademark)" don't seem to get it.

Stroking for answers...

Q


cs1df2 41M
1463 posts
9/27/2017 6:26 pm

So the only semi-critical thing I'd say here is regarding this: "....women don't want assholes who treat them like shit...." because you may want to be careful in how you generalize as you may unintentional defend or deny exactly what someone else really does actually want*. Not trying to be biased here, but having been told I'm "too nice to date" and watched many an individual (male and female) intentionally seek out those that will treat them like shit I'm not so sure that there aren't those that do/will want exactly that.....

*though whether or not they should actually want that is a different topic of discussion

Maybe I'm just broken, but there are some things I just don't understand when it comes to other humans and standing up for others on the basis of shared attributes (be it gender, race, or heritage/origin) is one of them. Though I could see doing so for shared beliefs, values, and principals. .....of course, I don't think that was you're intent to do in this blog post either

-- or to put it simply, humans are just so confusing .....I'm not sure I'll ever figure everyone else out (though I have a hard enough time trying to figure myself out )


marriedcretin 53M
1324 posts
9/27/2017 6:41 pm

cue The Clash song?

Rock the casbah? Does casbah mean something else? Hey baby I'd like to rock your casbah tonight and then cum on your tits...er that might work...

Oh, you mean London calling...nope. I'm a northerner. No, I know, Rudie can't fail. And you are a rudie?

Wait it must be an album reference...cut the crap? from here to eternity? although technically that last one is more of a best of...

no, no, I'm getting this all wrong. As a Brit from that era living in America, I know you'll only know one Clash song and two songs by the Sex Pistols. Still, not bad.

Oh and the stuff about the nice guy. Well, mostly we're not nice, we're just desperate and don't understand what we have to say to make you fuck us. So we pretend to be nice or good at oral (listening and giving) in hope of fucking. We don't want to cut our chances so we'll never say 'nah, you're not the one' because you have a vagina and we want it. It's probably not really our fault. It's hormones or dna or something.

mc


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
9/27/2017 11:44 pm

Being "nice" does not entitle you to a prize. Being nice is meeting the minimum requirements for being a decent human being.

I agree that often men are unrealistic about who they pursue. One of my acquaintances who would probably be pegged as an asshole by the nice guys, wrote a post called 'How to Bang Chicks Half Your Age' where he opined that for this to happen, more than one of the following factors need to be in place -
1) very good looking
2) rich
3) charming as fuck (charming is not the same as nice)
4) possessed of unusual skills - no, liking to eat pussy is not an unusual skill. This was on a fetish site so he was referring to someone who might be very skilled at whip or rope.

The first two might be shallow but the point remains, if you're not bringing something extra to the table beyond being "nice", don't bother pursuing beautiful women half your age.


CleavageFan4U 66M
69374 posts
9/28/2017 8:35 am

Interesting post. I've long said that my biggest challenge dating -wise is I'm not enough of a "bad boy" - not likely to make ladies panties instantly damp!

Am I a nice guy or not? Not for me to say I suppose, though those that have dated me (largely) seem to think so (no pleasing EVERYone! )

Suits, on HNW
Five Dangerous Places
Beginning the Long Wind Down
[post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets


TopTwentyPercent 60M  
317 posts
9/28/2017 10:34 am

A pretty snarky anthem my dear.

I am glad that no place on my profile does it say that I am a nice guy.
I just adore women and treat them very well (but that is an ultra-secret fact).

It is all about attitude, approach and presentation! What is your AAP?


marriedcretin 53M
1324 posts
9/28/2017 1:00 pm

    Quoting  :

oh behave Lala, of course I know the song you are referring to. I was an impressionable kid when punk and new wave were kicking off in the UK. I grew my hair long and went to sticky floored night clubs where they play that kind of music. I even know some of the proper US punk bands and a few of the punk-lite that came out of here. Guitar music is my thing.

As for the other stuff...that was a momentary lapse of brutal honesty. A slight glimpse in to the workings of the average male's brain. Or what passes for brain.


Woodyeverready 65M
1187 posts
9/28/2017 3:38 pm

    Quoting  :

What I should have said, and meant to say, was that nothing would work me up enough to be mean or abusive. Not that I would anyway, I just don't think I have it in me.

Woodrow J. Evers


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
9/28/2017 4:01 pm

this time through blogville, i've met 6 good guys that i count as friends and one that's a possible. i avoid the obvious hunters, tread lightly with the ones that are egoists and generally delete, delete, delete. not a single one of the men who i consider a keeper started off by proclaiming themselves a nice or good guy.

seems to me that if you are, it shows and if you need to say it, you aren't.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


qreset 56M
84 posts
9/28/2017 9:57 pm

    Quoting  :

I've been away. Had to work on the beard! Lol.

I only mentioned that it is a recurring theme because it seems, with much frustration, that the same dudes that should be hearing this, and internalizing it, and maybe even *gasp THINK that maybe possibly, what they're doing is douchy at best, and downright dishonest and assholery at worst--and then change--don't.

So it's frustrating for me as a male trying to navigate this world, because I have to assure that I'm not a douche/asshole (ok sometimes, but I admit it and try to correct it)--and obviously SHOW that I'm not, I get that. I don't verbalize my non-doucheness...anyway, I have to prove I'm not like that to a wary female public, and at the same time I have to deal with women who actually expect it, or think it is OK because conditioning. I could get into feminist discourse, but this ain't the place for that, lol.

And as sad as it may sound, I'm actually OK with no dates/sex (tears) because my being myself might not be a beacon of attractiveness. I've been being myself for a lot longer than I ever tried being someone else. Performing is for the stage. And all the world is NOT a stage. Sorry Shakespeare, and Rush, for you music geeks.

Stroking for answers...

Q


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
9/29/2017 12:24 pm

Did you mean 'odour'??


cs1df2 41M
1463 posts
9/29/2017 6:10 pm

    Quoting  :

what?!?!? you're not here looking for someone to get you going???



On a more serious note, I don't disagree with what you're saying about some who seek those that will treat them like shit however, I've also met some who knowingly do so because they consciously do seem to want it, because they believe it's what they deserve (for whatever reason)

So yeah, I've come to the conclusion that there are confusing humans all around ..... and I am pretty sure I can be confusing too (even if I'm not entirely sure I'm entirely human )


9Mykl69 54M
141 posts
10/13/2017 9:33 am

Well said. It is nor our words that define us, but our actions. Our actions are interpreted by others; therefore, it stands to reason that our actions should match the perceptions of the observer if we are genuinely concerned with being perceived as a "nice guy,"

I enjoyed this post!

Mykl Scot


GhostofH 65M
22788 posts
10/15/2017 7:20 am

They say that 'nice guys' finish last, Lala.... but isn't that the way it's suppose to be...


tantric_chakra 46M

10/15/2017 11:54 pm

The nice guy who finishes last is the one who pretends to be nice to gain the woman's approval. He doesn't show who he truly is. He hides his own intentions to gain points. Women can sense these things. Their intuition is much stronger than a man's. Women want to connect with a man, get a sense of who he is. They can't do that with this kind of nice guy.
The nice guy who finishes first is the one who can intuitively feel a woman and know what she truly desires without her even having to ask for it. He gives because he truly wants to, and has no expectation of receiving. He can go deep inside her, and feel what she means rather than hear what she says. He knows when she needs to be fucked, or not fucked. He knows women, and truly loves them. What men need to do is let go of their egos, and really pay attention to women.


Huntthecunts 53M

10/18/2017 3:35 pm

    Quoting  :

True

Still waters run deep.

Any label is only a perception.


FaroucheAtFirst 56M
5 posts
10/19/2017 12:29 pm

For years I was consistently relegated to the "Friend Zone" and was called "a nice guy". And, yes, it was because I wouldn't clearly state my intentions. However, it wasn't because I was trying to manipulate my way into getting the girl but because I'm a gentleman.

These days I've figured out how to speak my truths quietly and clearly in a gentlemanly manner. I then wait politely for a reply. Hopefully that reply is an invitation. If it isn't, I may relegate myself to the friend zone because I still enjoy that persons company but understand that they don't have the same feelings that I do.

Regardless, I still don't understand why a girl would choose a guy who truly is an asshole simply because he was more forward than another. Just because I choose to be a gentleman, it shouldn't put me farther down the list than a prick. Matter of fact, it seems that it would put me farther up the list. Sadly, I've had friends change from being a decent human being around women into being a prick narcissist because that behavior got them laid. So, ladies, don't forget to take notice of a guy who may be too polite to consider dropping bad pickup lines or humping your leg as an appropriate come-on.


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